Going through a divorce is most difficult for the children. Conscientious parents who want what is best for them may take strides toward achieving a positive co-parenting relationship for the sake of their children. Some ways that parents can make the most of this difficult transition include the following:

Handle Difficult Emotions

Divorce can make a number of complex emotions to build up, including anger, sadness, grief, betrayal and fear. These feelings can emerge in the parents and their children. It is important that all parties be able to effectively communicate these emotions in order to work through them. Talking through these emotions honestly can often help aid families. The family may decide to talk through this information during mediation or in counseling. Once the parties are able to acknowledge these difficult emotions, they can discover ways on how to manage them.

Get on the Same Page

One of the most effective ways for parents to co-parent is to work together on a mutual agreement. Such an agreement can take into consideration several factors that can affect the family’s lives. This may include discussing how to handle living arrangements while a divorce action is pending, how holidays will be celebrated, how support will be allocated and other important issues and resolutions for short-term and long-term consideration. A mediator can help parents come up with an agreement that works best for all members of the family. Once these important decisions are decided, the parents can mutually communicate this plan to their children.

Help Each Other

Through the course of divorce and making the parenting plan, each spouse should strive to find ways to help the other. For example, the agreement can include a provision that takes into consideration the timing of when parents get out of work so that complying with the agreement does not pose a hardship. It can also include a provision that provides for a parent who has always participated in a certain extracurricular activity to remain active in this capacity. By helping each other, parents show that they can work together and depend on each other.

A co-parenting plan is a structured agreement that describes how two parents who are no longer together will raise the child. It contains information about visitation times and dates, as well as other information deemed important by the parents. Establishing an effective co-parenting plan can help lay out the critical information and avoid future conflict.

When drafting a co-parenting plan, it is especially important to use clear and unambiguous language. In case the parenting plan needs to be enforced, a judge must be able to read the specific provisions in question. Phrases such as “reasonable visitation” or “liberal visitation” will be more difficult to enforce because of their lack of precision. A well-defined schedule that details specific visitation dates and holiday plans is a better option.

It is important to include information about each provision that can be reasonably predicted to cause problems. This can vary in each case. However, it may include addressing issues regarding medical treatments, religious decisions, extracurricular activities and educational decisions. The parents might include a provision that requires mediation in the event that a dispute does arise.

One common point of contention in family law cases is a move by one of the parents, especially the parent who has more time with the child. A parenting plan may establish provisions regarding this issue, as well as related issues as out of state or out of country travel. In order to maximize access time with the child, the parents may also want to establish language that gives them the opportunity to care for the child if the other parent is to be gone during his or her normal time with the child.

Perhaps most importantly, a parenting plan should include language that adjusts visitation time with the child based on his or her age and developmental needs.